I will return to all things Cameron in the coming weeks. This week’s post will have more to do with his mother. Almost 11 years ago, Sara packed up her Volkswagen Jetta and drove north to Southern Maine to begin medical school. Because our relationship agreement calls for me to quit my job and move to New England every ten years, I came along for that first year. I’m glad I did, because I can honestly say I was there when this crazy journey started. The training process ends for her with her graduation from fellowship this Friday night.

I don’t think either of us fully appreciated just how long this whole thing would take. When she started medical school, she was thinking about being a pediatrician. Had she done that, she would have begun practicing a few years ago.  By the end of her third year of medical school, she knew she wanted to be a surgeon. That required a six year residency. By the end of her residency, she knew she wanted to specialize in breast surgery. That requires an extra year to complete a fellowship. 11 years later, she’s ready to start practicing, and will begin that chapter this fall at GBMC back in Baltimore.

Having a front row seat to all of this has really been enlightening. The thousands of hours that she has dedicated to achieving this goal has been incredible to watch. It is rare to get to do exactly what you’ve always wanted do for a living. I’ve known Sara for over 20 years and she has always wanted to be a doctor. That is easy to say while you are in high school. It is SO much harder to go out and do it. She sacrificed so much over the past decade in order to keep her dream alive.

It isn’t easy to explain just how hard she has had to work over this time. Once she began her residency, it was rare that she ever had more than two days off in a row. Ever. Seven-day weeks were more routine than five-day weeks. Vacations were often planned around weddings or holidays to make sure she would be able to attend. Fellowship has been easier. No overnight call at least, until you factor in that she spent all of this year either pregnant or taking care of an infant. Starting on Tuesday we have 90 days off. 90 days until she starts at GBMC and hopefully she is able to slowly make up some of the sleep she missed out on over the years.

This week is a bit of a graduation for Cam and me as well. This is the 10th and final full week that we will be home alone together. Until October anyway. We have made it through our first semester together and it has gone just about as well as I could have hoped it would. I have learned so much in my 10 week crash course, and getting to spend 90 days with Cam and Sara is an amazing opportunity. One that I know will likely not happen again.

As I approach my first Father’s Day as a Father, I wanted to take a quick moment to wish a happy Father’s Day to all of the Dads out there. I’ve stolen inspiration from so many places as I’ve waded through these first few months. Here are just a few.

My own father is always on my mind as I find myself calling Cam the same nicknames he bestowed upon me so many years ago. Or when I call my dog Cam and my kid Quinn. A classic John Fogarty move. My father just turned 70 and raised four great kids and plays a big role now in helping to mold six grandchildren.

My Father-in-law who has a level of patience and calm that I can only dream of having one day.

My friends and family who had kids before me and have helped answer my questions via text or email when I find myself in a dead end.

My friends who are about to have kids for the first time. Maybe I’ll be able to answer some of their questions at some point soon!

Other random Dads who I see in the middle of the day at the store, or the park or a doctors office. Brothers in arms!

My TV dad heroes. Jason Seaver, Cliff Huxtable, Steven Keaton, Jim Walsh, Phillip Banks, Phil Dunphy, Edward Stratton III, and so, so many more. Ok, so I watch a lot of TV!

And, of course, all the Moms in my life.

We have finished up two months of me being home alone with Cam. Just about two more weeks until Sara joins us for the summer. I’m learning something new almost everyday. Some days are better than others, but it really has been a treat to get to do this. I almost feel like I know what I’m doing. Almost.

From everyone at FoggDaddy.com, have a great Father’s Day weekend!

What would you do if you had a whole year off? You didn’t win the lottery, so you can’t just travel around the world or anything. But what if you quit your job to move for your spouses career and ended up never getting a job? How would you spend your time?

That was a question I asked myself over and over again as I sat in traffic during my long daily commute from Baltimore to DC over the years. And it was a question that I unexpectedly got to answer over the past 365 days.

On Friday June 7th 2013, I walked out of the Associated Press for the last time. A couple weeks later I received the last paycheck I would see for the next 52 weeks (and counting). A whole year has gone by, and I’m not sure how it went so fast.

In December of 2012, Sara learned she had matched for a fellowship in Rhode Island. I knew then that I would need to quit my job and look for something else. I was fine with this development for a couple of reasons. For starters; I have long held Sara’s career above my own. This isn’t me kissing up to the wife, it’s the fact that she has now spent 11 years training to do this job. Taken out gobs of money in loans and been through hell to get here. The other reason was that after nearly nine years with the AP, I was ready to move on. I really enjoyed the majority of my career at the AP, but the last year or two were pretty tough for most of us on the staff. It was a good time to go and start the next thing.

The tricky part? Finding that next thing. I spent the six months before we moved trying to network. I met a lot of people before I moved here. A few of them are now friends of mine. I even flew up for a couple of meetings last February while we house hunted. Meeting people was one thing, finding job opportunities was another. Over the years I have settled for jobs, I wasn’t going to do that this time. I wasn’t going to work for the sake of working. Luckily we didn’t “need” the money that much. So I was able to be a little picky.

The problem with having time off when you are looking for work is that it isn’t really time off. If you do anything aside from searching for work, you feel guilty. So for the first few months that I was in Rhode Island I didn’t really allow myself to take advantage of not working. You’ve probably heard that looking for a job is a job in itself, and that is true. The types of jobs I was being offered interviews for weren’t really jobs I wanted. I started putting strange timelines on things and it was becoming clear that my heart wasn’t really into it. First I decided to give myself the summer off. My sister was getting married in DC over Labor Day weekend. I didn’t want a new job to screw up my plans to take some time home, so I put my job search on hold until after I got back. I would apply for a job, then almost immediately hope that I wouldn’t get it. Before you knew it, it was getting close to the holidays, and the end of the year. Nobody hires anybody at the end of the year, so I shut it down until January.

By the start of the year I had given up finding a full-time job, and decided that I would be willing to do part-time, freelance or contract type work. With a kid on the way and the real possibility that we weren’t staying in Rhode Island past this summer it seemed like the fair position to take for me and any potential employers. I got a few bites along those lines but ultimately nothing worked out. You need some luck when looking for work. You can be super qualified for a number of jobs, but those jobs need to be available.

At the end of January, with Cameron due in early March, I suspended the job search indefinitely and made the decision that I would stay home with Cameron. Was it discouraging that I couldn’t find something despite all my experience? Sure. But the reality of life had taken over. No time to feel sorry for myself. We hadn’t really ever discussed what the child care situation would be if I did work. Sara only got six weeks off. Would we have been comfortable with our six week old in day care? Or being taken care of by a nanny we just met? Nope. Amazingly, I was probably the “best” option for taking care of Cameron.

I can’t help but think about the guy I was a year ago. The stressed out mess who wasted 3-4 hours a day commuting to a job he no longer liked. A guy who still couldn’t go five minutes without checking his work blackberry, regardless of day or hour.  I wish I had come up here knowing that we could survive the year without me working. Perhaps than I could have accomplished a bit more of the things I thought I would do with so much free time. Sleep late (I did manage to nail this), make delicious breakfasts, hit the gym everyday and get in shape, learn how to paddleboard, get a permanent flip-flop tan, travel around to see old friends or get my golf handicap way down.

Thinking back to those drives to and from work, this isn’t at all what I dreamed a year off would be like. I imagined more sun, more fun, more late nights out and about. Much more golf, and a new hobby or two having been developed. You can never map these things out of course, but there is very little I would change. The opportunity to stay home with Cameron is one I never expected. But it’s the best thing that could have happened to me this year. My advice to anyone who may unexpectedly find themselves in this situation? Embrace it. Enjoy it. Slowing things down is a pretty good thing sometimes.

So what’s next? Will I ever work again? I assume I will, but I have no idea when. We have another move coming. Sara has accepted a job starting in September back in Baltimore. Since she finishes her fellowship this month, we are all very excited for our  summer off together. Who knows, maybe I’ll finally learn how to paddleboard.