I can’t say I wasn’t warned.

Almost every person I spoke with about starting preschool said the same thing: Prepare yourself emotionally for this kind of change. Turns out that was pretty good advice.

Cameron started school on Wednesday. He’s doing three mornings a week, about three hours at a time. We were hoping to push off starting school a couple more months. January was our target, but a spot opened up at the school we preferred and we took it. I don’t think we thought he’d be in school at 19 months, but we’re excited for him to get this opportunity.

The nerves started sometime on Tuesday. We had delayed the start a week to get medical forms all set. This wasn’t a phony excuse, but my guess is we could have pushed a little harder if we weren’t afraid of this on some level. I guess I was worried that he would hate it, and then hate me when he got home. Or he would be a problem in class and I’d have to come and get him. He is starting about six weeks into the school year, so of course you worry about him making friends. As I tend to do, the worry was way worse than the reality.

Wednesday morning was rough all around. He had only met his teacher briefly last week, and seen the classroom for just a few minutes. When I walked him in to drop him off, he started holding me pretty tight. He was sensing that I would be dropping him off and leaving. The tears and screaming started pretty quickly. But almost as quickly they stopped. The teacher met us at the door and walked him in. I said goodbye and didn’t look back. But I couldn’t hear him screaming, and if he was still screaming I WOULD be able to hear him!

I went back to my car and just sat there for a minute. I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be. But it was strange. Sure, I welcome the free time to run errands or just catch up on the DVR, but for the next three hours I wouldn’t really know what Cam was doing. His whole life I’ve pretty much known his every move. Our weekday mornings are spent at various classes around town, learning how to swim, listening to music or stories at the library. Now, nine hours a week, I won’t really know what he’s learning. We’ll get some updates, and maybe some pictures, but there will be firsts that I’m sure we will miss.

By late Wednesday morning he was all smiles. He and his little backpack came up to meet me for pick-up time and he was happy. By Thursday morning the drop-off tears were gone. As I walked him into the school a couple adults already knew who he was. “Hey Cameron!” “Is that Cameron?” I think he made a good first impression. This time when we got to the classroom he led me in and got right back to whatever he was working on when he left. Same drill on Friday morning.

There will be some bumps I’m sure, but we’re thrilled so far. So far I’m avoiding the drop-off and pickup lines. I’d rather walk him in every day, and since I’m never in a hurry that should usually work. At some point I’ll give it a spin, and that may lead to more tears. The kids I’ve witnessed so far aren’t super happy with a teacher yanking them from their parents car every morning. Cam has proven so far that he’d probably get used to it, and do it all with a smile on his face while waving to everyone in sight. But I’m not ready for that just yet.

So far this week I’ve filled out a permission slip for a field trip to a pumpkin patch (I’m also going!) and we got a packet about ordering school pictures. So, yes, this is all starting to move a little too quickly.